Want

This is what I want today.
Of course, I could have something else,
But this is what I want today.

The whims of fancy rule my world,
Randomness dictates my way.
Wishes come and desires leave,
And this is what I want today.

You’d think a man of thought and taste
Would have the will to stay
Focused, alert and disciplined –
Alas, this is what I want today.

To fall in love. To be left alone.
To fashion sorrow on her gravestone.
To feel such pain! But who is to say
That my mind won’t wander and sing with joy
If that is what I want today.

Master of will, slave to whim,
I answer to no one! But within,
I have tortured my soul to please my mind.
And now I’ll try it the other way,
For that is what I want today.

Did I wander from the holy path?
Did I lose my light and go astray?
I could turn around, try to find my way…
But this is what I want today.

There is no past, there is no future.
There is no cause, there is no consequence,
There is nothing that exists outside of me,
Not night, not day.
The world is a thought, slipping away.
Should I remember, or should I forget?
This is what I want today.

~ Terence Tuhinanshu
Continue reading “Want”

Preface

Hello. My name is Terence Tuhinanshu, and this is my blog.

I’ve had blogs in the past. My first serious blog was anterence.blogspot.com, one I had created while at Drexel studying Distributed Software Development under Prof Peppo Valetto, who had asked my team to track our interaction with other developers while working on an open source project. After the class finished, I kept writing every once in a while, usually on technical or technological ideas or discoveries.

At some point I decided that I didn’t like the anterence blog anymore, and that I needed to start anew. I was almost about to switch to WordPress, but since I didn’t have a good domain and didn’t want a .wordpress.com address, I was hesitant. Just then, Blogspot finally revealed a significant update to their platform, and thus I created tuhinanshu.blogspot.com, a place for more serious thought. I posted one of the papers I had written for a course on Cognitive Sciences under Prof Frank Lee. A few weeks later I posted a diatribe complaining how bad fonts looked in Chrome under Windows. Then there was nothing.

For a while I setup a mini-blog account on tuhinanshu.posterous.com. It was more a place for curation than original content, although I did express disdain for Govt of India’s UID project there.

One of the reasons I stopped writing blog posts was that I didn’t think I had anything worthwhile to write. I was reading – books, posts, articles, Reddit, just soaking it all in – but not writing anything, not saying anything. Another reason was that I really, really didn’t like Blogspot. When I bought this domain, I had thought of setting up a blog and how nice it would be to finally have a place to write, my own little corner on the internet. But I had been so busy with work, that it is only now that I’ve gotten a chance to set this blog up.

I do have something worthwhile to write. It might be about technology or design, literature or philosophy, physics or politics, poetry or programming. They will be my words, and they will be here, for now they finally have a home.